2) The Feedback: The main feedback I received on my previous elevator pitch was that I should try and be more enthusiastic. I recognize that this is exceptionally important because if I, the creator, am not enthusiastic about my own product, nobody else will be either! Comments on my last pitch also noted how my breaking things down numerically really helped in my organization of the pitch. I also received positive comments regarding my three letters bit that I did at the beginning.
3) The Changes: The main changes I made were all personal, really. I tried to be more enthusiastic during my filming of the elevator pitch, moving my arms about more and inflecting more as well in my speech. Things such as the numerical breakdown of the information I conveyed as well as the three letters bit were both aspects of the last pitch that went over well, so I brought those back in this one. I also felt more comfortable with my pitch as well, needing to reference my notes less and having a better idea of how my pitch should flow. There were certain aspects of my last pitch that also felt too lengthy, so I cut them down quite a bit to just the bare minimum needed to get the point across.
Dear Elery,
ReplyDeleteI believe you did a very good job making your elevator pitch for a handful of reasons. First and foremost you had an excellent "hook." By this I mean you had a good opening sentence that intrigued your audience ("I'll give you a hint, its just three letters). I think my including this opening little part of your elevator pitch, you were able to prepare the audience for what is to come next. Next, you were very organized I like how you explained what you would be talking about first and second. Overall you did a great job and my only critique would be to have a more exciting tone of voice.
Hey Elery,
ReplyDeleteOverall, the elevator pitch was great, though I'd to comment on a few things. Just like me, I've had issues getting enthusiastic about my product mainly because I am speaking to a camera with no audience and the minimal stakes we have for this assignment (we are not actually owners). For my third pitch, I tried changing this and imagined myself pitching my product in a room of 5 executives, where I assumed none of them cared. Having this mentality helped me portray a more enthusiastic demeanor, even though mentally I didn't think much of it. In close, I would also say to speak more loudly and a little bit quicker, and with fewer pauses. Don't be discourage though, this is a quirky assignment and you have progressed a lot from your first pitch!
Hi, there! You did a great job on your third version of your elevator pitch. I really like how you split your product into two parts as it could appeal to a wider audience. You did a great job restructuring your pitch based of the feedback you received in your previous versions because you appeared more enthusiastic and confident in your presentation. Your body language was also more confident and commanded attention, which is critical if you want to gain investors.
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